Odd. Partner must be thinking of bidding a new suit, so he's 5-5 or perhaps even a canape 5-6. If he bids a new suit, I'm bidding at least six. The worst suit for him to have is clubs, and if he's just king-fifth in both suits, slam is possible.
Nope, he passes 3NT. Rats. Despite what I expect due to the tank, dummy is still a bit of a surprise:
LHO leads a small spade and seems pretty taken aback by dummy. She starts to stammer, "what kind of a bid is that!" "Looks like a bad one to me, ma'am!" She turns to my partner and asks, "are you taking lessons?" Partner starts to grin and I'm about to lose it. I remain composed, but I really want to wring my hands and natter "Secret Weapon!" in my best mad scientist voice. She considers calling the director, but ends up not doing it. Insulting partner a couple of times is sufficient it seems.
The play goes quickly. I win the first spade
high and cash the
Partner apologizes for failing to bid
It turns out that +520 is 75% of the matchpoints. The rude lady didn't get much of a score for our apparently silly result. No one else did, either, as we cruised to a 70+% game. Perhaps flexible pre-emts aren't so bad!